I’m not sure why I wrote this, however I greatly enjoyed doing so, which also puzzles me. Nevertheless;

Like with many single guys my age, it’s often that my family and friends joke about courting and wedding a girl. Today I was picked on for this. Typically, I’ll respond with a quick comment in return, joking about how it will never happen. In my head, I venture down two paths. 

The most common; I’ll never meet the girl.

I’m particularly particular in my taste in girls, with rare misjudgment (recently, oddly enough), I tend not to invest in a girl lest she meets a number of strict criteria. I liken this to an insecurity in me that stems from my childhood of never fully connecting with my parents. I rarely trust someone enough to share intimate details about my life. If I do, however, I tend to go overboard. Regardless, with the image of the perfect girl in my head, I often dismiss girls shortly after meeting them, of being ‘the one’. The reason I have the outlook of a girl being, as it’s so called, ‘the one’, I’ll marry the girl I choose to invest in.

In my head, at least (I believe others think this as well), I should not date a girl without intention of marriage. The foremost reason, why would I place myself with a girl who I would not honor with marriage? Rather than bringing me up as a man of Christ, this would simply degrade my relationship with her, and with God. I believe this to such an extent that I may not even become friends with certain girls. Obviously, this is a massive impairment on starting a relationship, even if it’s just as friends (maintaining friendships with those of the opposite sex is important), which in turn, fuels my belief that I will never meet the right girl.

The other path; I’m not ready.

I have a romantic outlook on marriage, in terms of romanticism. I relish the idea of marriage. To devote one’s life to another fascinates me. To live a life of service to another person is enticing. To share and experience the most intimate moments of life with that other person is also exciting. To do this properly however, requires an amazing man of God, and is obvious by the massive divorce rates in the US, many men are not ready. I feel I’m not one (I’m not ready), which is why I’ll defer marriage to years later in my life.